We live as we dream, alone. (Poem)

You brought my stuff back last night
Books, a belt, a pair of crutches
You forgot my CD
Stupidly, I asked you in
You were so boyish in the front door light
I wanted to brush your hair off your face
Take your sweater off
Push you back on the bed
Straddle you and grind and hear us groan
Our animals straining together
The very thing that got us here I guess
But instead in my nervousness I did a kind of show-and-tell
Showing you some things from work
And asking about your family and friends
We drank sherry in fancy little glasses
I’d just bought
Amazing that awkwardness between us
The worst ever
It was almost a relief that it was so bad
It gave me hope that in two weeks
There will scabs on my heart
Still I hear what’s been haunting me since we first met
Was it from Conrad or the punk song I heard it first?
We live as we dream, alone.
I knew it was a warning
All the time.

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